Seizures and other fun things

This week has gone from up to straight down. As is usually the case with liver disease, but I gotta tell you - it's exhausting. Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.

Tuesday he was booked in for a tap - I think I've already mentioned that he can't have medication anymore to control the fluid because his kidneys shut down - and had to be at the hospital at 8.30 Tuesday morning. Thank christ he was (at the moment, I'm kind of debating whether to thank christ, but more on that later).

He had a seizure. Two actually, but the first one was just after they marked him to put the tap in. Mum was there and got nurses etc who whisked him off to ICU. Again.

Whilst they were doing tests etc, he had another one.

So, he's in ICU and they need to do a CT scan and they find a dot. So, somewhere along the way, between various CT scans he's had, he's had an ever-so-slight stroke. How bad? We're not too sure yet; he's also on anti-seizure medication to sort out the seizures, and it is making him dopey.

As at right now; he's still in ICU and my mother and sister are in there. He was having a MRI scan this afternoon to investigate the blip on the CT radar.

I just hope that this doesn't knock out transplant hopes.

I went in this morning (only 2 at a time in ICU and I was working) and saw dad. I don't know if it's just me or what, but I am near on positive his face looks different. Whether it's me knowing it's a stroke or what - but his face looks like it's 'meant' to after a stroke. His eye has dropped.

Anyway, he is not very lucid but knows enough to know that A. I am not my mother or my sister and B. that he wants them. I was told to 'get out and call your mother and your sister and find out how long they are going to be'. I tried to talk him down, but he was having none of it. I couldn't hold it together anymore, so I had to leave.

His ammonia levels are through the roof; which is causing a degree of encephalopathy - but he still knew who mum and J were.

Just not me. Again.

And it's selfish and it's awful, but it hurts.

Badly.